We're going down captian...

i have a friend that's working in Leh...his company oragnizes adventure tours and marathons and he is one of the marathon organizers...and that's the really really good news...because my health is about to get a lot worse...when i say my friend is part of a team organizing marathons i mean like a real marathon...ya crazier people than i actually fly to Leh to run a bloody marathon at 12,000'...well they were short a photographer...long story short...$200 plus they cover all my expenses...best of all though there were three drs that were apart of team...western doctors...they simutaneously looked at me and my back and were not very happy...i told them that i went to the tibetan doctor a few days prior...they were not impressed by that either...i was sick...and they were pretty serious with me...they gave me some major pills and made me sleep at their hotel during the day...for two days...they wanted to make sure that i was healthy enough for the race...to take pics...lol...well it was amazing that my buddy was there and that they hired me...i would have done it for no money...just medical care...

well my health got better with the antibiotics...i shot the marathon...it was fun and beautiful...my health was better...still i was very weak...i decided to fly home rather than ride...it was 5-6 days of hard riding back to delhi...i was not up for it...i hadn't the strength in my upper body...plus the weather was bad...i had bought myself a new jacket in Leh...i was very cold and i figured that i would need the layers to ride home...oh well...i put shanti on a truck and my ass on a jet...straight to Depa's house i came...Depa is my adopted Indian mum...i met her at the art residency...this is where i am now...i spent the whole week here...depa and her son Nimy took care of me...i was quite sick and had to go to the hostpital nearly everyday for a week...i need the bandage on my back to be changed everyday and i had a bunch of doctors look at me...in the end it was decided that i had a wicked virus brought on by malnutrition, fatigue and generally being ass by riding up to Leh...i guess they don't see the heroics in riding a 1950's motorbike over an 18,000' pass...if they can't see they can't see i guess...one of the drs actually told me...enough with the craziness you stay at home until ur bored for the next 3 days...well Depa made sure of it...i was home for the remainder of my time here in delhi...i made a few appearances at night when things cooled down to a paltry 35 degrees...ya that's cool weather....

my time in Leh was well spent sleeping...i didn't really get to see much...the ride though was as amazingly insane as it could have been...i'll be totally honest...that i was rediculously under prepared for the trip...as much mentally as material wise...i never imagined it would that tough...i really didn't...i hope shanti is ok...

and so i sit here and wonder at what i will say for my last indian post of the first half of my journey here....silly i know...silly because i wonder about an answer...crazy...the answer which will follow the question...'so what did india teach u mag'...i start to feel a bit quizzy and it's not because the dog outside is wearing vomit on himself again....really dogs with out vommit look a lot nicer...what did india teach me...hmmm...i have no frick'n clue...no idea...where to start answering this question...who's india anyways...what does it have to do with india...am i in india...is that where i am supposed to be...and teach...don't i already have all the information...isn't it all inside me anyways...so perhaps the question ought'a be...what did india reveal to me...any new shit get dug up on this trip bhai....

well perhaps a quick appology is in order or maybe we should just fuck that idea as i stopped the act of appologizing and started the act of recognizing the shit i do and am responsible for...we can leave this topic for another discussion...honestly though i have pages of notes here in my book worried about the appropriate message that i should bring home with me...like who the hell am i and what's this about a message...hey i came to india to chill...waste a few months...smoke a lot of charas and fuck india women...that's it...wow ego mag just went wild...where did that come from...i remember the sound of it from a few years ago...this trip wasn't that style of excitment i can asure you of that...not unless u consider my relationship with shanti...well we were in a few tight places together but.....

i'm not sure why i came to india...except that it was on my path...so i followed it...maybe i wanted to test my belief...my belief in me...i know that's not a lot...honestly i was expecting break through awe inspiring light shinning profound experience...which i had in thailand...i thought that perhaps i would experience something which i could share with everyone at home...you know like meeting a guru and finding out the answer to the caramilk bar or something...all the swamies and guru's were pretty chill...with a chill message...simple be happy...live in the moment...we already know all that...i didn't meet anyone who i thought was any closer to love than the people that i already know...maybe i need to look harder...or maybe not...maybe it's me and my new vision...everyone i see looks like god...everything i hear are gods words...i see god all around me all the time...it's wonderful...it's wonderful to be able to see it here in india...india is a gentle slow moving lady...india demands balance and graticousness...leave the attitude at the door white guy...beyond the dust and the hear are wonderful experiences that one has to see, touch, taste and feel not to mention sometimes smell...just to get an idea of the setting...

i guess i was hoping purpose would become a bit clearer during this 5 month journey...i really have little idea as to what i will do with life...i'm no further or closer to figuring that out...as i write this though i am not too worried...doing nothing has been everything i thought it would be...i rather like and often find myself so busy that i could possible handle this life and one where i actually worked...no that will not happen...work i mean...keep it away from me...so i will continue to hope and wonder and put together little ideas and write them down for the precise moment where the timing will be perfect to start doing something....util then...i am not so starving artist...which i rather love...and maker of friends...

so that's it...no big sermonds from mounts of stone...if anything india solidifed that i am on the write path and that anything is possible...i met so many awesome friends here which i can't wait to host in vancouver so they can meet my awesome friends there...and i am realizing that i have given myself a year to do nothing and not feel bad about it...which i fully intend to take advantage of...i may not have profound answers from india...i have profound stories and memories though...

rest in peace

mag