prior to this retreat my experience with meditation in the traditional sense of legs crossed back straight and eyes open or closed staring off into the distance was limited to 30-40 sessions ranging from 5-30 mins…most of which were in my living room in Vancouver…I participated in 2-3 mini work shops that were quite basic…there was usually a few minutes of meditation during most yoga classes which I have been practicing with some regularity since oct 31 2003…so it’s fare to say that I had a meditation practice…primitive and limited in the traditional sense perhaps…
as for non traditional meditation such as when I am creating art or listening to music or even driving a car…well who knows how many hours of that I have experienced…I don’t believe that one needs to sit crossed legged to meditate…neither do the monks…however they do believe that it is one of the better ways and they may be right…I’m not going to comment either way…
at the retreat they focus on the breath…which in my experience is popular and comfortable for me…the monks also taught us that we can meditate while focusing on a single object…either method can be done sitting, walking or standing…as long as the action being done doesn’t deter from the mindfulness of the meditation…in other words meditation is about settling the mind…clearing the cobwebs…it’s tough to do this while running on a seawall according to the monks…while running there are so many other things that the mind has to contend with…this is true…look it’s not that watching out for people walking, dogs, bicycles etc is tough work to do while running on a seawall…it’s just that it is a mild form of stimulation…which the mind craves…as I have already mentioned…and meditation is all about settling the mind…so here in lies the slippery slope…in my books and as it works for me I look at it this way…sitting crossed legged watching my breath is a finer form of meditation than say running on the seawall…doesn’t mean I can’t clear the mind by running…it’s just that while running I may have 20 things in my mind and while sitting I may have 1 thing…being that I am bombarded with frequency every single day of my life…I will choose sitting meditation as my preferred method…so the monks and I agree and that is how things started at the Suan Moke Forest Monastery…
well not precisely…
although meditation was in my life…I wanted meditation to become a part of my life…something that i have not done as of yet…so when josh mentioned that one of the things that he wanted to do was this meditation retreat I was game…all I knew was that it lasted 10 days and started on april 1…fools day…in actuality it starts on the last day of each month and so we were a day late as we arrived after dark on the 30th of march…a great way to start…unbeknown to us on our arrival the head abbot told the nuns to let us join the retreat as we had spent the night in the monks dorms because of our late arrival…there’s a strict no late rule and there are no exceptions to the rule Khun Ben told us as she registered us for the course…Khun Ben is one of the nuns at the monastery…and is suppose in my reality exceptions to the rules do exist…
There was Josh and I…Josh’s roommate of 5 months Kevin and a friend of theirs Collin.
The accommodations are meagre to say the least…we live just like a monk lives…monks live in solitude…an 8’x10’ concrete room with ventilation at the top, a window and a door…there’s a concrete slab about 3 feet off the floor that serves as a bed…we are given a straw mat to lie on, a thin blanket and a wooden pillow…yes you read correctly a wooden pillow…a monk’s life is one of meagreness, no possessions and suffering = Dukkha…the monks believe that comforts lead to stimulus and well we now know where that leads us so they use a wooden pillow…really how the monks live and what they believe is not important to my experience and where it is important to the story I will let you know so I don’t really want to go on about it here…oh they also give us a fly net…
There is a small store where you can buy soap and candles etc…many meditation halls all open to nature either completely or partially…the setting is about the size of five football fields…that is our boundary…within the boundaries are 1000’s of palm trees, banana trees, papaya trees, 3 natural hot springs, dorms etc…everything one needs…it is as beautiful a setting as one can imagine…you can’t hear a car or city noise…there are ponds with fish…snakes…grasshoppers the size of a subway sandwich…bats and birds, scorpions and bugs of all descriptions including wonderful butter flies…the pathways are all sand which makes shoes an unneeded accessory …there is an old bell tower and a bell ringer that tells you when you need to get onto the next session…by all accounts it is heaven…
The schedule goes like this for the first 8 days…4am bell…4:30am reading…4;45am sitting meditation…5:30am yoga…7:00am Abbott talks…8:00 –10:00am breakfast & chores…10am sitting meditation…11am walking meditation…12:30 Lunch and personal chores…2:30 Monk Talk…3:30 sitting meditation…4:00 walking meditation…5:00 Chanting…6:00 tea and free time…7:30 sitting meditation…8:00 group walking…8:30 sitting meditation…9:15 gates locked…9:30lights out…lila tov…good night…
Day 9-11 differed a bit…the main thing was that on day 9 there would be only one meal and that through out the day you could do what ever meditation you wanted to do…in actual fact there was never anyone really telling you what to do or where to be…as long as the basic constraints were kept ie silence etc…the monks and nuns were happy…
Keep in mind that in Thailand the sun sets around 6:30pm and so the evening session is all done in the dark with candles…similarly the sun rises around 6:30am it is amazingly peaceful and beautiful…my favourite times were morning and evenings for this reason…it was also quite cool during these times…
It’s quite an intense the schedule…however I now realise and know how important it is to stick with it and that it worked for me…although I broke many of the rules…such as…
There are only two meals a day…vegetarian and by most accounts the food is really beautiful…look it’s not going to win an iron chef competition…it is healthy vegetables and plenty of it…there’s fresh fruit with each meal and tea…you are not supposed to take food back to the dorms for obvious reasons as they don’t want animals to enter the dorms and monks don’t eat after mid-day…but I broke this rule by bringing a few bananas back once in a while…
There is no talking…for the first 6 days this was not an issue…a few little whispers here and there, but I actually enjoyed not talking…it’s a very strange feeling…however by the evening of day 8 when thoughts of leaving the retreat were at it’s highest talking too was frequent…by the next morning…day 9…my realization experience had sufficiently freaked me out and a mimed explanation would not suffice…soon after that the lessons and visions were very strong and needed definition which required chat…fortunately there were others that felt the same and help was easily accessed…during my next retreat I would practice the non-talking rule more closely…I feel that I have enough tools now to work through visions and realization by myself …plus the monks and the nuns are there to help…although I was a bit scared to chat to them foolishly…of course if a retreat participant had a similar experience to the one that I had and needed help I would definitely break the silence to help them…and I did as you will read soon…
Obviously there is no alcohol or drugs allowed…no fraternization…men and women are in separate dorms, facilities are separate, we eat separately and meditate separately…they ask you not to write in your journal, no reading unless they give you reading, no music, no exercise except for the yoga, no drawing, …absolutely no stimulation for the mind with the exception of breath and the schedule above…and one can imagine just how difficult this is…I decide that I would participate by the rules…and did so…nearly…for the first 6 days…
I tossed the wooden pillow day one…and brought out my sleeping bag and blow up pillow…unfortunately the pillow had a small leak which rendered it useless and really the sleeping bag was just an insult to the idea of a mattress…we slept on concrete…even with a sleeping bag under my ass it’s still concrete…however I learned on day 8 that all one had to do was ask and a pillow and mattress could be sought…I had both for the last 3 nights…I buried my ipod for the first 6 days and wrestled with the boredom…finally that caved and although at first I listened to music I limited myself to listening excerpts from the course in miracles…this was a determining factor to my experience and realization at the monastery…I had craved the CIM lessons and as always once I gave into the temptation and started to listen to the lessons each one was absolutely without a shadow of doubt in precise perfect synchronization for the criteria of the day that the monks taught us…for my dream the previous night…and my growing awareness of the day…
Naturally I kept my journal close…doodled in the sand and that was my existence until day nine which I will explain later…on reflection would I have make different choices for my next retreat…hmmm….well I would not chat as I have already mentioned…if I was still doing the CIM lessons (there are 365) I would only listen to it if I felt the need…I wouldn’t holdout on myself…I wouldn’t listen to music…reading is a tough one…I enjoy so much to read and the re-reading of power vs force was also pivotal to my experience so it’s hard to say…I think that I would first ask what it is I’m looking for in the experience and then decide…I had no prior knowledge to what I was getting myself into…and I am very happy with my first experience…next time I’m sure things will happen exactly how they should too…oh I would not go 8 nights without a mattress or pillow…that’s absurd my back is still sore…and yes I know ‘soreness’ is a construct on my imagination…honestly though after day 6 my body was so sore that it was hard to meditate or even sit…the ego is very tricky in how it works and it doesn’t want one to meditate and settle the mind so it will use anything in order to interrupt one’s meditation…so grab a mattress and worry about the stimulus of a comfortable sleep with prayer before bedtime…
Rest in peace
mag19
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