‘i’ am sitting in a hotel room in parachuap khiri khan...i am ‘alone’…’i’ am at peace…there’s a thin veil of electronic re-vibration running along my ‘skin’…I feel ‘beautiful’…in ‘charge’…I ‘watch’ my breath pass along the tip of my nose…in and out sensation…ana panasity…the mindfulness of breath…I am very ‘strong’…I am very much in the realization that even in this ‘blissful state’ of happiness and confidence ‘the self’ is still very much vying for control of mark…creating construct after construct…process after process…governance after governance…’I’ attempt to use quotations on certain constructs or labels for emphasis…for ‘you’ the reader to follow ‘my’ meanings…follow this experience that I am attempting to describe for you…it is in this realization that ‘I’ allow the random constructs or the labels to appear in this body of text…only as definition for our understanding…at which point then there will be no need for the constructs or labels or the quotations…I suppose the quotations can be confusing…laughter…actually I’m sure that will be the least confusing of what I am about to tell us…once our understanding is one then I won’t have to use any of the labels: I, Self, Ego, Love etc you get the picture. Know that all the labels and constructs are just so we can communicate via this Blog…
this is a re-count of my 10 day meditation retreat at Suan Moke Forest Monastery, Chaiya District Suranthani Province Thailand…it was a profound experience to say the least…an experience that has yet to become fully realized…the monastery holds 10 day retreats for anyone who shows up on the first day of each month…one can live and practice meditation with the nuns and the monks…the monastery is known world wide and by all accounts thus known so far is impeccably credible…the instruction is very good…
this is my story…the realization is ‘my’ experience and not the ‘monastery’s experience’…in other words what I learned and experienced over the last 10days I would have learned anyways…it is within me…I suspect that the monastery environment…the ‘purity’ of the space fuelled the growth and accelerated it…
thus the reason to check into this hotel for a few days and decompress…write down my thoughts…break the new rules of constructs and self just for the time being so I can as clearly as possible give the reader…me…a sense of what I learned…I will stay here until I do this…it will be tough to experience the outside world without a clear understanding…I can see this as my words to even describe this 10 day account are clear to me to be filled with ‘SELF’…but I have already discussed the reason for this…perhaps in a few days…months…years… as the mind re-wires and re-maps its self words will be easier to find…for now the important duty is to just understand…
‘i’ imagine that you are reading this introduction without the faintest idea of what I am talking about…that in it’s self is the crux of the difficulty of this task ahead of me…laughter…this is going to be a lot of fun…the belief that you will not understand my experience is a belief of the ‘self’ or the ‘ego’…this belief is precisely what I will focus on because it is a false one…a huge lie that the world has been lead to believe…the belief that you and I are different…that there is a ‘self’…that there is a point where I am separated from you…this is of course false…you exist in the construct of my mind only because I want you to…if you don’t understand what I am writing about it is because I don’t want you to understand…I will explain in more detail later…this is tough stuff…I want you to understand…it will be easy for you to understand…that is my hope…it is not my hope however that you will believe…yes you heard me correctly…you will need to decide if these constructs…these new rules for the new game of life appeal to you…it is my intention that they will…after all you are all in my new reality and I suspect that you are here because I want you to be here…
for those of my new reality that have been studying the course in miracles with me I will say this…the CIM talks about the separation between god and man…we are created in god’s image…we are children of god…thus god like with all his wisdom and tools…there by the separation is between man and man…however the label ‘human’ is a made up construct of the imagination or say the mind and the challenge is this…if ‘human’ is made up…then ‘man’ doesn’t exist…I don’t not exist except in the constructs of my own imagination and neither do you…thus there can be no separation in the old reality…because there is no definitive me or you or anything…it is all nature…it is all energy…we are all scientifically made up of the same stuff…incidentally if this is all sounding sort of Matrix like well it should…it would do you well to re-watch the matrix series…it’s based on a book called simulacra and simulation…I will buy this next time I’m in Bangkok…the book and the movie are supposedly based on Buddhism…there’s a lot of math involved as well…Also check out a movie called Pi as in 3.14…minus the Hollywood effects the matrix movies according to one monk is extremely close…his words were, “it’s a great try…the movie is really lucky.” Of course we know better…luck doesn’t exist in any construct and in my old reality neither did choice…more on this later…
Heavy stuff eh! I don’t intend this to be a manual for my the new reality…and I will not write an essay of my every waking moment over the last 10 days…I will give you excerpts…ones that I feel you should hear…for those of you who would like to know more just email me…I will do my best to explain…keep in mind that this is new to me as well and I am as expert as are you…
One last thing…even in my new reality there’s a strong sense of self/ego and it’s telling me to write this last sentence…you don’t have to worry about my state of being…I am extremely positive with my experience…I am very happy…I am not in some cult wearing orange pj’s…sneakers and tripping on LSD…Suan Moke Monastery is a legitimate world renown place…the monks and nuns our very knowledgeable…Buddhism is very close in it’s teachings and beliefs to what I now believe as reality and the new reality…however…like most organized beliefs it too suffers in my reality from a control and separation…unbelievably ironic.
Read this with a big heart and an open mind and make sure you start at the beginning…wherever that maybe…
Peace…
mag19
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