what a morning…perfect…peaceful like I have never known…an experience like non other I have ever witnessed…a new vision is being created within me…I spent most of the afternoon by myself…with one meal today and rumours of a fasting tomorrow I wanted to save my energy…I felt that the body needed it…
time moved slowly today…have you figured out the cat riddle yet…I will tell you my reality about it in a bit just in case you want to reread the story…I listened to the course today quite a bit…I figured it would be a good grounding message as I re create the foundation for this new vision…
at around 5pm I noticed that phil was running around the court yard listening to music…it seemed like he was on drugs…and he was…MUSIC…after 9 days without music it must feel really great…I watched him run around for almost an hour…while watching phil I met a guy named craig…very cool guy from DC although he works and has spent a lot of time in asia working for several NGO’s…craig, phil and I spoke for about an hour…craig had some weed and gave phil and I some…I was thinking about this environment that I have lived in for the last 9 days and what it would be like next time to experiment with some narcotics while exploring this new reality…one of the monks spoke about this in private…he spoke about his experiences…the next time I decide to check into a monastery for 10 days I need to be better prepared…
I thought that It would be appropriate to share the weed with mark from London…we chatted quite a bit today and so I saved it until I met up with him in the afternoon…at the hot springs…ivan was also there with us…the three of us spoke about our experiences at the monastery…we each had different stories…shared an orange that I had saved…incidentally ivan and mark do exist…even though their being is a construct of my imagination…I am not really sure where one’s reality leaves off and the next begins…for me to say that they do not exist would mean that I too don’t exist…this is very confusing…at any rate in the old reality there is a mark from London and Ivan from Vienna…and in the new reality they are perfect constructs of my imagination…in my current reality it’s 12am on day 10 and there is a german guy in the concrete cube next to me snoring…
We left the hot spring around 8pm in complete darkness…the conversation was filled with new vocabulary and definitions…I recited what I had learned earlier…whether their understanding of what I was saying was complete or not I am not sure…the ability however to translate what I had learned…the purity of the thought…the quickness of the translation…was incredibly exciting…this morning I was learning to walk…now I am actively communicating with randy, phil and others…after a bath and dressed in two sarongs I went for a walk just before the gates were to be locked…I met up with randy and phil who were also heading out for a walk…a different kind of walk…they were going to the highway for some dinner…so I joined them…randy said that I will want to experience the highway…sneaking out was not a problem…of course it is against the governances set out by the monks and nuns and I understand why they would ask us to stay within the boundaries of the monastery…however my reality now was young and beautiful and maybe a bit reckless…I had learned a lot from randy and phil…this field trip would be necessary…
We walked the 1.4km road to the highway…it was completely dark…very beautiful…the moon provided just enough light…the sounds were incredible…we reached the ‘highway’ and all I can say is WHAT THE FUCK!!! It was incredible…it was like seeing something out of a sci-fi movie…blade runner or mad max…the ‘trucks’ were moving so fast as were the cars….the sounds too were like something that I had never heard before…and cross this 8 lane highway was ridiculously dangerous…I had no gauge as to how fast everything was moving…I waited until no cars or trucks were even in sight and I still looked over my shoulder 10-20 times to check for on coming traffic…
I ordered fried rice with vegetables and pork…with an egg on it…pretty ordinary menu item…it was one of the best meals in my entire life…the tastes were incredible…I know that it is my mind telling me this…that the difference between the food at the monastery and the food at the highway…well there is no difference other than what my reality tells me…I guess that is why food at fennies tastes better…my reality tells me that it should…regardless the tastes at the highway were great…the juice box was great and so was the espresso drink…stimulate me please…I could really taste the love in the food…the sunshine and the earth…I have a whole new respect for nature and all that it provides me…
While we were eating we spoke about cause and effect again as I wanted to make sure I understood what we talk about earlier…I did…we also spoke about the book simulacra and simulation…in a nut shell the book and slightly the movie the matrix…talks about life as a series of processes…mathematically the books suggests that in every series of processes…ie the ‘game of life’…which I know now life to be a series of processes or constructs…that in a system of processes there is a 100% probability that there will be one ‘label’ and in our case we can call that label ‘human’ that will be created that is not bound by the same constructs as most of the other ‘humans’…that is due to this one anomaly will be created knowing all the rules of the process ie game of life…and since that ‘human’ knows all the rules they will not apply to that one human…he/she will create a new reality free from all constraints…free from ego/self…this is the character neo in the movie the matrix…it might also be jesus, Buddha, god or nature…very interesting and I will have to read the book to understand this message clearer…I also want to re-watch the matrix movies…the CIM says something similar with the exception that unlike this book or Buddhism I believe that we all have this ability to become enlighten…not just a few of us human constructs…I am very glad that I snuck out to the highway tonight…what a great experience… I’m glad that I waited until I had the break through this morning though…of course this perfect…how I got to this monastery too was perfect…all I knew was that josh wanted to check this out…bam!!! I have a new vision…
Phil had three goals for himself on coming to this monastery…I as mentioned above i was unprepared…I had no goals…which I guess worked out well enough for me…however phil’s goals are great and so I will adopt his this time…
1. live in the moment
2. break free from constructs that I have learned from family
3. create the construct of inner peace in my life
3b. and of course peace love compassion and forgiveness…
On the walk back to the monastery we stop off at another hot spring…this one had a beautiful sandy bottom and a dock that was about 8 inches under the water that I could lie on…it was a great experience…so soothing and healing…
I had to sneak back into the dorm as they lock us in there every night…I’m not sure why they do this…after all it is a Buddhist monastery why should they care if I want to meditate or go for a walk at night…sneaking in wasn’t all that tough to do…it involved pulling myself up over a wall that was about 7 feet high where there was a space of about 10” to climb through…the other option was to stay out all night…which is not all that bad really as there are many places to chill and sleep…it’s a monastery after all…cushions are everywhere…and it’s better than sleeping on concrete…
rest in peace
mag19]
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