‘bowing bends the ego and shows respect to nature.’
the morning is perfect and of course it is…I created it…and I am a child of god…and god too is perfect…I listened to the CIM this morning…I wanted to…I have been craving it since I got here and feel a longing for it…I suppose it is clinging form of stimulation for the ego, but at this moment I don’t care…plus I don’t think that is where my intention is coming from and the course would support that urge…another brilliant dream last night…who needs TV…these dreams are so real…and possibly they are…with what I’m learning I don’t know what is real anymore…actually nothing is real…I think that is what the monks are saying…
I definitely have a new understanding of this retreat and why I found it…we are not in Kansas anymore Dorothy…nor am in Thailand it seems…I am not at all except in my imagination…
I really love the mornings here…dark and cool…I wake up so refreshed even though I haven’t slept that many hours…last few nights I don’t sleep very well until maybe 2:30am and then I sleep so deep for the last 90mins…it’s like I have taken a drug…I wake up and new understandings about where I came from or why I am here at the retreat just pop into my head…all day long I take in information and at night it is processed so that the next morning I have this information which I can utilize…like in a proficient way…it happens so quick…
And I realise that I had lots of Dukkha (worry or need for stimulation) in my life…like the monks said I craved stimulus and worked at occupying the mind albeit less in recent months…I think that is why I or how I found my art…it was my form of meditation and helped clear the mind…settle it down a bit so I could find the CIM…the CIM was another form of meditation for me…clearly this has helped me…as were some very special people in my life…my angels reine, perry, hollie, jean, maxine and marcel…
Wow I can breath…I mean breath…my lungs are working…with each breath I grow stronger…thank you breath…a funny side note here…the monks keep talking about how important the breath is…it keeps us alive…well Kevin made a funny comment yesterday…he said that breath doesn’t keep us alive oxygen does…we don’t say that our arms keep us alive because they bring the food to our mouths do we…I thought that this was funny…maybe it’s just because I have had very little stimulus…
My body is starting to change…actually that is not correct…it’s not my body…maybe my mind…something is changing…all my senses feel heightened: smells, tastes, sounds, sight and even touch…this has happened once before when reine and I first split…I remember learning how to use my sense all over again and I really enjoyed those feelings and so I look forward to doing this a third time…this time with a lighter mind…a bright mind…clear from Dukkha…I realise that this is what I have been doing for the last little while…getting ready to cleanse the mind so I can see again…like I did when I was a child…
…this place was sort of getting to me yesterday…I know I should be peaceful…this place is beautiful…the monks are so negative though and my body is aching…I thought that I have learned what I needed to learn and it was time to go…clearly I have been on the right path all along…clearing my mind…making it easier to think…I am now happy to stay and watch the days play out…keep my mind at ease…the course is put me back on track and I feel focused…I will continue with the lessons as they are a form of meditation for me and a form of stimulus…which I recognize and I’m ok with…
I have had many thoughts of helping people…talking to people…I think something may come up at burning man this year…
Children are on the mind too…my own children…this doesn’t surprise me though as traveling with josh has made me think about parenting…I am super proud of my brother…he has two amazing kids…they are his greatest achievement and he should be proud…
Why are these monks so negative…everyday they talk about greed and suffering in the world…how it is getting worse and not better…do they realise that this fuels the negative energy in the world…I think that is a control technique…the monks keep saying the Buddhism is not a religion however I’m not sure I would agree…I understand that to be a monk ones belief has to be extreme and at this retreat we are getting the real deal…not a watered down interpretation of Buddhism…and thus I recognise in the monks and in Buddhism similar controls and separation as in other religions…I would say though that Buddhism seems to be a milder religious sect…non the less the monks believe that theirs is the only path to enlightenment and so we will agree to disagree on this one…as I believe that love peace, compassion and forgiveness all things that Buddha spoke about are on the rise in our world and peace is just around the corner…life is abundant if I choose it to be…
the monks believe that it is extremely rare to be born a human…there is a story of a giant sea turtle who lives in a giant sea the size of our earth…once every hundred years the giant sea turtle rises to the surface to take a look around…however the sea is cover in it’s entirety with floating wooden planks…one of which has a hole in it large enough for the turtles head…the chance on being born human is the same as the giant sea turtle surfacing to find that hole in the wood plank once every hundred years…
rest in peace
mag19
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7 comments:
This seems to be double posted bro..... I thought it looked quite long. I found that retreat on-line I think. Is this the right place?
http://www.suanmokkh.org/
Hey Mark,
This is going to be a combined letter of all my recent thoughts regarding your writing. I woke up yesterday morning and the first- very first thing that popped into my head from the reading the day before was, "make like a tree and leave." then I heard Dolly Patrons working 9-5 in my head. I smiled but it was annoying... so much so that I had to get up and look up the lyrics online. Get this:
Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
Yawnin', stretchin', try to come to life
Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin'
Out on the streets the traffic starts jumpin'
And folks like me on the job from nine to five
Chorus:
Workin' nine to five
What a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by
It's all takin' and no givin'
They just use your mind
And they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it
Such a bubbly song until you really look at it...The rat race- the all mighty buck... The sacrifice... for what?
Make like a tree and leave stayed with me longer. You mentioned the difference between man and nature... well the fact that there is no difference which I totally resonate with but I'm still holding onto a bit of a dividing line... not really but kindda... you know. Like a teeter-totter some times I'm up and sometimes I'm down but I always cross through the middle... the understanding. Next phase is maintaining the middle... no whipped up peaks or crashing valleys.
More and more my art is about trees and of course a woman figure most likely myself totally within that tree... calm, safe, flexible, alive. When I read your passage about nature these images/paintings came racing back. I have been silently wondering why these tree messages have been getting bolder, brighter and larger and you helped me put words to the thoughts. Jeanie even said one day during our CIM- just be the tree.
Maybe my year should be divided into seasons. Rebirth- vitality- shedding- inward contemplation.
I find it interesting that the monks are so negative. I finished reading the CIM and I found the last chapters very negative as well. Do you think it’s just that we are changing and are able to see the differences more clearly? What do you think they were showing you?
Saying that the Monks or the CIM are negative is an attack thought designed to keep you lower… no?
And with that I must sign off. I’m going to the penthouse tonight to
Watch some pole dancers.
LOVE and LIGHT.
R-STAR
oooo and I forgot to add-
Thank goodness that you had liquid ass before you learned about and had to use the three finger chimney sweep.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAH
LOVES
I almost refrained from reading your blog before I wrote my comment, but I suspect the things I experienced/channeled will be confirmed sooner or later, so I can wait.
I had an interesting experience at the Sound Tribe Sector 9 show in Houston on Friday night, and part of that involved you. I will not going into excessive detail here, so as not to bore others, but I do recall after the Seattle show, when I did energy work on you, you said you felt me "speaking through" you. Well, I think it works both ways. I get the sense your time in Asia is peeling you back in layers, like an onion. It can take people lifetimes to shake off some of the things I sense you are divesting yourself of right now, and I am really happy you are giving yourself that release. I look forward to seeing what has changed in you by the time we meet again on the playa.
For sure, something very epic will be happening at this year's Burn... I think it will occur on the night of the lunar eclipse, or at least be set into motion. What, I have no idea, but it's that kind of excited expectation with just a teensy bit of fear, like approaching the highest crest of a rollercoaster ride.
The last two nights have been super intense for me, going from Houston to Austin to see Sound Tribe both nights, but I got enormous amounts of internal work done in about 24 hours, my own little Crash Course in Miracles, as it were. I can't believe the speed at which things are shifting, but it's good to know I am not the only one on this particular kind of ride.
Buddhism is technically not a religion, but as with anything organized, there is dogma and hierarchy, cuz that's just how humans are. My beliefs align best with Tibetan Buddhism, which is one of several sects, but it partially derives from the shamanistic Bon tradition, so I find other sects a little austere and rigid in comparison. I think what draws me to TB is also what draws me to the psychoacoustic abilities of Sound Tribe and Tipper, the connection to earth, sky and spirit, not just two out of those three. Even if you do not agree with what the monks are saying, learning to actively listen without judgment is a really valuable skill to acquire on the path to personal growth. I agree, dwelling on negativity is certainly giving energy to those situations, but we have to understand what gives rise to those problems so we can truly affect change.
We're going into the Aries New Moon on Tuesday, which is a time of doing and acting, rather than the Piscean mode of contemplating. Its possible you may already feel the life force of energy running up and down your spine... so now is the time to set into motion those actions that will benefit you and the vision of the world you wish to create.
xoxoxo... Juliana
wow - where to begin, reading your entry, then reading the comments from reine and julianna - so much yet for me to learn ...
not sure if i should start reading from where i last left off or start with the most current and work backwards
then i thought, most of us read forward, anticipating what is to follow ... yet my lessons in life right now, is taking the time to look back, understand then mover forward
i think for a time, i was thinking forward not looking back and just thinking it would all come to place ... anticipation, the feeling looking forward in excitement of what's to follow or maybe it should be we should start with now
i think back to one of our conversations about our destiny being already set out for us
knowing this, i believe is true so with the past weeks of knowing and moving forward then having to face things that are unexpected or out of my control ... i think a good lesson, of how i react to these things
reading through your though process and the journey of your mind coming to peace with your soul, it's quite amazing to hear your share with us your transformation
the ability to see
i think there comes a time when we are in one with our selves, as monks they have reached a state of mind where no longer is their ego blinding them as they view the world, and what you may think is negative ... is it really? ... there are a lot of things that are bad about this world ... is it negative to talk about the bad - i guess so if there is now resolution ... doesn't change those things that are wrong to being right
... rambling - what am i trying to say ... well something i've read and read over again is a quote that gets me through understanding better
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." –Maya Angelou"
wonder if their negativety is to saprk something in you or push you the opposite ...
to more reading, thank you mag for sharing this wonderful journey with us ... learning a lot through you
boy ... i'm pooped ... just published my comment, with terrible grammar ... sorry mag ... i work on the grammar part =)cheerios
a few of you asked or mentioned the negativity that i spoke about wrt the monks...reine u mentioned CIM too sounded negative...
i look at it this way...negativity is a derivative of fear which will all know resonates low and is a construct of the ego...old vision
i create my reality...so if a monk appears to be negative...then it is i who wanted this negative experience...what does this mean to me and my experience at the retreat...well it means nothing at all...i went through so much at the retreat...it was one of the toughest battles i have ever fought with my ego...and those of you who know me well...know what i have fought a tough battle with ego for sometime...
so i am going to let it go for now...the monk believes what he is entiled to believe and that works for him...what i should have done and will do next time is talk to the monk about it...challenge him...learn...i'm sure my understanding of what he was saying is nothing close to what he really believes...
rest in peace my angels
mag19]
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